Quick- let’s consider what’s going to happen over the course of the next week or so for the holidays.
- it’s the holiday’s – have a piece of cake, it won’t hurt
- it’s Friday, you don’t need to diet today
- it’s Sally’s birthday. you can get back on track tomorrow
- it’s been a hell of a day, why don’t you skip working out and come to happy hour what us
I don’t know about you, however at least one of those sentences USED to be uttered by someone in my life to me at least once a week.
My response to those comments USED to be:
- I can diet tomorrow.
- I can work out tomorrow.
- I can get back on track tomorrow.
Here’s the truth: they don’t know MY truth. They don’t know my path. They aren’t me. They don’t know what I need. I had to tell them.
I had to say:
- you’re right, a piece of cake won’t hurt however I’m enjoying our company
- it is Friday however I’m not dieting so let’s go out
- Happy birthday Sally! I’m happy to celebrate with you and spend time together
- it has been a terrible day and I’d love to go to happy hour however I already made plans that I can’t break
I actually have a rule about this – a gym bag full of clean clothes in my car only gets 48 hours in my car-I will not let clean clothes get a free ride. AN APPOINTMENT I MAKE WITH MYSELF TO WORKOUT CANNOT BE BROKEN.
How do you handle it when you are trapped because that one relative made something special just for you? You get through it. You take a few bites. You take it with you (say you’ll have it later when you’re not so full) and give it away. You do not have to feel guilted into eating something. Either you will WASTE it or WAIST it. The choice is yours. One piece of cake doesn’t just cost me about 500 calories, it costs me an additional month of my Weight Watchers membership. Saying no AND MEANING it is much better for me.
We don’t show up to work unprepared and full of excuses. You plan before your meetings and communicate what you need to others; we can do the same thing for our healthy journey.
For many of us, being overweight equated to being overlooked, not listened to, and invisible. Standing up for yourself, SPEAKING up for yourself, setting yourself up for success, makes the journey much easier.
How do you tell others no, thank you?